Some days, I struggle.

Posted by Unknown at 11:04

Some days, I struggle.

I struggle with eating right, with going outside for a walk, with the clothes that I wear, with what I see in the mirror.

There are times when I can't see a difference. When I look at myself and I don't think I look any different, when my clothes feel like they fit me the same, when I still feel like I'm as big as I used to be. I've been having a difficult time realizing and accepting that my body has changed dramatically.

My goals have changed, my mindset has changed, my body has changed. And yet somehow things feel the same. I know, in my head, that I have transformed. I'm a logical person and I know that my clothes are smaller, my weight is substantially lower, and I'm healthier than I have ever been. But that logic just can't seem to be at the forefront.

I get frustrated if my weight doesn't go down. I feel overweight and blah if I've gained a pound.

So I struggle with what I know in my head and what I feel when I look at my body in the mirror. I need to remind myself of how far I've come and the significant changes I've made. I need to look back at all of the pictures from high school and the years that have gone by and SEE the changes. I need to be motivated to keep going, to push past all the doubt and frustration and insecurity.

They say that small and slow progress is the best kind of progress for long term goals. While I agree with this, it's the small and slow progress that can become frustrating in the day to day.

So yes, some days I struggle. But nothing worth it ever comes easy, right?

Perspective.

Weekly Update: April 5

Posted by Unknown at 09:51

First of all, I just want to apologize for anybody who's been looking for updates, things have been super busy! Secondly, I've decided to switch up when I post my weekly updates to later in the week. This will give a more accurate picture of my weight loss progress, as I typically have my cheat days on the weekend so for a day or so afterwards, I'm a little bloated. By the end of the week things are usually much more on track!

The past little while has been a bit crazy for me, I've been traveling and trying to sort out my life at least somewhat and while not a whole lot has been accomplished I'm feeling a bit better about my goals and where I want to be.

I'm gonna stop myself there before I start getting too deep on you.

Current Weight: 154.2 lbs

Since I've been slack in posting updates, I thought I'd include a couple of extra progress pictures in this post. Partially because looking at them is great for when my motivation feels like it's about to give up and partially because I'm damn proud of how far I've come in the past year. I only wish I had pictures from back when I first started being serious about my weight loss back in January.

Oh well, here you go!

These were taken on April 1st

March 2012 vs April 2013

March 2012 vs April 2013

I put this together to see the difference in my face over the last 9 months
I believe the pictures on the left are from June 2012

Monday (Tuesday) Update: March 26

Posted by Unknown at 12:50

Whoops, I forgot to do an update yesterday! Last week I was in Halifax for a few days, so my diet pretty much went right out the window. When I came home I felt very blah and like I needed to be recharged so I decided to take the rest of the week off as well. I felt like I needed several days to eat lots of food to bring my metabolism back up so this week when I cut my calories back again it will have more of an effect. I know that my metabolism has lowered a significant amount because most days I don't even come close to meeting my 1200 daily minimum. So in order to prevent long term damage, I stuffed my face for a few days. And it worked! By Sunday, after a full week of not counting calories or watching what I ate, I had gained back one pound, with little to no difference the last few days of the week. And then yesterday I was right back on the wagon.

Current Weight: 157.2 lbs

I was happy with this week, though I do look forward to being back on the wagon. I'm planning on doing the reset of my metabolism every weekend, and I'm interested to see the effect this will have on my weight loss.

My mom and I also started the C25K program, and are hoping to run a 5k marathon some time this summer! The days are longer and the weather is finally starting to get nicer, so I'm looking forward to being active and outside again.

As for last week's goals, the dietary ones kind of went out the window, but I didn't spend any more money! So that's always a bonus.

This week's goals:
- Continue with C25K, 3-4 times this week.
- Continue monitoring sugar intake.
- Boost metabolism on weekend, with high calories not just 'bad' food.
- Ride 3-4 times.

 

March 2013
Size 11 Wranglers from the summer

Monday Update: March 18

Posted by Unknown at 09:25

Well, this past week has been a rather uneventful one. But then so is just about every week lately! I had a somewhat difficult time diet-wise this week, and gave myself a cheat meal on Thursday night. I've found my hunger dropping off lately, and it's been hard to even meet my 1200 calorie goal. I'm worried about introducing some higher calorie meals into my plan, just because I don't want to fall off of any bandwagons! We'll see what this week brings.

I'm in Halifax for the next few days, so this morning I didn't get a chance to weigh myself with my usual scale. However I did it yesterday to keep track!

Current weight (Sunday, March 17): 158.0 lbs.

I was happy with my progress this week, and really started to notice a difference in my hips and stomach. My clothes are really starting to fit differently. Today I even bought a new skirt and it was a size small!

As for my other goals for the week, I met them all except for the exercise one - I really need to stop being so lazy. Oh, and it's been nearly impossible for me not to think about grad school! I only went over my sugar intake once this week, so I was really happy about that!

This week's goals:
- Stop spending money! You are poor, please remember that. Your shopping addiction will get over it. Maybe.
- Have a cheat that satisfies cravings but doesn't make me feel heavy and blah afterwards.
- Keep monitoring sugar intake.
- Increased amount of vegetables in diet.

Left: March 17, 2013
Right: New skirt bought March 18, 2013

Labels and Labels and Labels

Posted by Unknown at 11:08

Yesterday I had someone on Facebook ask about reading nutritional labels. While I'm no expert, I've compiled a list of what are the most important sections for me and my diet. I'm not a nutritionist so everything I've found out is just what works for me!

1. Serving Size: In my opinion, this is the most important part of the nutritional information and also the most tricky to understand. Usually when you look at the label, the first thing you check out is the calories. This is important too, which I'll talk about next. But the serving size is important to wrap your head around. In this case, the serving size is 20 crackers or 20 grams. Remember that 20 grams is really not all that much. Compare the serving size to the total amount for the package and use this to get an idea of just how many calories are in the whole package and if it's really worth it. 'Healthy' snacks try to reel you in by giving a low calorie count for a small amount of food. Example: In this case, there are 80 calories in 20 grams, however for 20 grams of All Dressed Ruffles chips, there are only 108 calories! You get more chips for these because they weigh less, but it's good to put into perspective.
Another tip: It's waaaaay more accurate to weigh serving sizes rather than use the '20 crackers' estimate.

2. Calories: This is the second most important label when counting calories (obviously). It gives you the total calorie count for the serving size. Remember that this is for only a portion of the package unless the serving size is for the entire thing.

3. Fat: This section and it's subsections are also important, though to me, less important than others. 0 grams trans fat is what you are striving for, and for me, the lower the fat the better!

4. Sodium: The amounts for sodium always look scarily high, but remember these are given in milligrams, not grams! Sodium intake is important to monitor because too much sodium can lead to many health issues like heart disease and stroke. For weight loss, too much sodium leads to water retention.

5. Carbohydrates: When watching your carb intake, this is of course another important label! Remember that breads, pastas, and rice are all high in carbs so these numbers will be higher. However this number is for the serving size amount as well, so a high carb number on the label isn't necessarily bad, as long as you monitor your carbs and lower them in other foods - or have a smaller serving!

6. Sugar: This is the part of the label that I've been paying closer attention to lately. I'm watching my sugar intake, and currently my limit is at 24 grams. This particular label has 0 grams of sugar in it, but there are some with upwards of 20 grams per serving! Yikes! Treats like pudding, yogurt, ice cream, etc. are all high in sugars. Sugar is not horrible for you, and naturally occuring sugars in things like fruit are an important part of a balanced diet. I know myself that after a few low sugar days I feel very tired and blah - usually something a pudding cup can fix!

7. Protein: Protein is so important for weight loss, fitness, and a balanced diet. Typically the recommended protein intake for women is 46 grams/day and 56 grams/day for men. This is before any exercise like cardio or strength training. Exercise increases your intake levels for the day, and protein is important to feed your muscles, preserving muscle mass and increasing with losing fat - just what we want!

8. Ingredients: This is a section I often overlook, but there are a lot of people who have ingredients they like to steer away from or have to avoid entirely. Remember to check your ingredient list if you have any intolerances or allergies!

Monday Update: March 11

Posted by Unknown at 09:43

I decided last week that I was going to start doing weekly updates to keep both everyone informed and myself accountable. The original plan was to start doing them on Sundays, but before I knew it yesterday was over and I hadn't even opened up my laptop! So Mondays it is.

Current weight: 160.6 lbs

My first goal weight was 160.0 lbs, which I hit on Friday! This was super exciting because I cannot remember the last time I weighed this little. However Sunday was a cheat day, and I'm still feeling bloated from all of the popcorn, garlic fingers, and peanut butter cups I ate. It was worth it though! I was starting to go a little crazy on my diet and I needed the break. I can really feel the difference in my body when I cheat though, last night before bed I felt overstuffed and just plain blah - maybe next time I'll scale back a little bit!

My next goal weight is a big one - 145 lbs. My ultimate goal weight is somewhere between 140 and 145 lbs, and I'm planning on reevaluating once I reach 145 lbs. I want to stay healthy for my height and bone structure, but I also want to feel good and confident about my body.

In the last week, I've really been trying to stay calm and not stress about life. I've been waiting to hear back from school about getting accepted into a graduate program and the longer it goes on, the harder it is to focus on anything else. One of the main reasons I started this blog was to keep my mind active and focused on something while I wait. I've been writing a lot (you guys don't even want to know how many drafts of posts I have saved!) and starting to get my horse back in shape. I think he's pretty happy about the weight loss, too!

Just a short post today, but I'll leave you with my goals for next week:
- One cheat meal, not a cheat day.
- Ride at least 4 times.
- Exercise 6 days (go for a run, walk the dog, use the stationary bike).
- Pay closer attention to sugar intake.
- Try not to think about grad school!

What are some of your goals for the week? Long-term? Let me know, I'd love to hear them!

March 11, 2013

A Jello Realization

Posted by Unknown at 12:15

Today while out grocery shopping I noticed that Foodland had pudding on sale for 99 cents. Of course I headed right for the bin and starting burrowing through looking for any fat free or no sugar options. Vanilla pudding is one of my weaknesses and it's a really good treat if you find yourself craving something sweet. While rummaging through the high calorie chocolate and butterscotch flavors, I happened upon a reduced sugar, Strawberry/Orange jello pack. I flipped it over ... 5 calories a cup and 0 sugar.

Of course I bought it. And a couple other packs, too.

Ever since, I've probably said to my mom about ten times, "I'm so excited about that Jello!" And after this tenth time, I realized just how far I've come. I'm excited about Jello. I'm excited that I found a low calorie snack that's going to taste like a cheat. I'm excited that there's no sugar. I'm excited because I just love food and the more that I can eat without feeling guilty, the better.

It's crazy to think that this lifestyle can already be so deeply ingrained into my brain. What happened today made me realize that this isn't just a diet or a phase or anything like that. It is a lifestyle change, and it's getting easier and easier to follow every day. Sure you look a little funny flipping everything you pick up in the grocery store over to look at the nutritional information, but the more educated you are, the better decisions you can make.

It's a big change and it seems like it's too hard or too frustrating or too expensive, but the more you force yourself and the more you keep yourself accountable, the more it becomes second nature. You learn to know what you can and can't have, what you should and shouldn't have. It becomes easier to plan out meals for the week, fun to experiment with low calorie recipes in the kitchen. And the results that you get keep you motivated to stay on the right track! The reason it works is because it isn't short-term and consists of real food. You make your own menu with foods you like and get more and more educated as you go along.

But that's enough out of me, I'm off to enjoy a delicious cup of Orange Jello!